A week ago, my therapist informed me that I would no longer need to receive counseling. I wasn’t completely healed. My anxiety and depression wasn’t completely gone, but I had grown and developed to a point where I could handle my own.
When my therapist told me that I was done with counseling, I broke down and cried. I cried because I had lost so many people in my life and it had been so hard. This journey with mental illness has not been the easiest thing to handle or bear. It’s been one of my most challenging trials. When I first began this journey, I thought there wouldn’t be an end to it. So many nights were filled with tears, pain, prayers, and the worries of my mom. It was hard to know if it would ever go away or if I could ever be healed.
My testimony was tried because I questioned so much if the Savior really was there for me. I questioned if He truly did go through all that I have gone through and if He truly did understand me. There were so many times when I felt that God had abandoned. I questioned whether He loved me.
The news of my counseling sessions opened my eyes to see that He has was there the entire way. Sometimes He allowed me to fall apart, break, and experience the emotions that I didn’t want to feel. Sometimes He allowed me to struggle so that I could learn, stretch, and grow. There were many times when He held me when I was at my breaking point and wanted to give up.
This journey… This fight… I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I wouldn’t go back into my past and change a thing. I look at the person I used to be and the person that I am now and can’t help but be grateful for all that I have gone through.
I’m grateful for the women in the scriptures and the legacies they have left. They have taught me that our greatest trials turn out to be our greatest blessing. They have taught me that no good thing ever came about and no good person ever lived without a struggle.
I know that The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints is true. I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ do live! I know that the Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ and is true. I know that Joseph Smith was called of God to restore the gospel to the earth. I know that Thomas S. Monson is our true and living prophet on the earth today. I can say that I know all of these things because I have had my doubts and they have all been proven wrong.